You're my kryptonite
by findmyway
Summary: Fiona knew it was wrong, yet she couldn't help the way she felt. Folly J: takes place at the end of Chasing Pavements and continues from there on out.


Fiona lay in her bed, wide awake, as she stared at the ceiling. All the while tears, like silent testimonies to the gnawing heartache she was experiencing, incessantly poured down her cheeks. Ever since Adam had helped her come to the delayed, yet somehow obvious insight, that she had feelings for Holly J, it seemed like her life had become a million times more complicated. Having to cope with all these new emotions now, had really cast a dark shadow over all the progress she'd made in the months gone by. Ever since she'd learned that she loved her best friend, it had proved to be a real ordeal to just be around her. In the last few hours they'd spent together on her couch, even a simple touch from Holly J had been enough to sent Fiona into a toxic state of mind, where desire and shame fought out an intense battle. In the end, neither party won though, which in turn caused the girl to feel even guiltier.

Yet this part, though not at all easy, was still somewhat manageable. The thing that had truly gotten under her skin and had unavoidably set off her into a pathetic little crying fit, was the fact that Holly J had confessed to her, that she still felt so strongly about Declan. What is more: he'd been the only guy she ever loved. Additionally, Fiona knew deep in her heart, that he still loved Holly J as well. She could tell, as whenever she contacted her sibling and mentioned said Sinclair, he'd either go mute, or get distracted. That's what made it all the more messed-up, really: that she had romantic feelings for the girl her brother- her TWIN-brother- was involved with, not all that long ago. Fiona had always shared a deep connection with Declan- or "her other half"-as she'd jokingly called him once or twice, when they'd just started high school.

As a result of their parents being absentee for a good part of their childhood, Declan and her had grown pretty close. Even closer, one might say, than most twins. They'd always looked out for one another, even going as far as taking the undeserved fall, when either one of them had gotten themselves into trouble. Declan had always been loyal to her, as she'd been to him. Bearing a secret crush on Holly J now, just made Fiona feel like she was betraying him, which spurred on the endless turmoil of guilt yet again.

So yeah, that new shocking information, combined with the firm knowledge that Holly J was dating Sav, that she was straight and would never in a lifetime go for her, was what made the situation genuinly gut-wrenching.

' Oh, for the love of god, why can't you just cut it out already?' Fiona finally asked herself, in a frustrated whisper. It sure was a good thing that her friend was a heavy sleeper, as the brunette had done her fair share of sniveling, between the time she'd joined her on the mattress and now.

" Fiona… Fiona, what's wrong?" came the sudden groggy voice of Holly J. Yet, sleepy or not, the girl always sounded somewhat hoarse and it was something which Fiona, despite her inner protests, happened to find quite sexy indeed.

' Oh fantastic, why not?' she subsequently found herself thinking, while hurriedly turning on her side, in order to avoid all possible eye-contact.

" Fiona… hey, are you okay?" another tired, yet desperate plea for reassurance reached her ears, followed by the innocent touch of a hand on her shoulder.

" It… uh, it's nothing. I'm fine," she lied quickly, trying to contain the kindling flame starting to consume her every fiber, once said hand gently began to stroke her skin.

" Oh come on, Fiona: I heard you crying. I'm not stupid, you know, so just tell me why. Is it because of Adam?"

' I really wish it was,' Fiona's mind reciprocated, yet she could hardly tell the other girl that, because it would only make her more concerned. The last thing she wanted was to upset her best friend. Holly J had been through enough: having to say goodbye to Declan, needing dialysis out of nowhere, losing the student council president-election, when she was so passionate about it, having to help _her_ out when she was getting wasted 24/7… No, she definitely didn't need anymore drama to deal with.

" I… I just had a bad, a bad dream about Bobby," she ultimately managed to utter, lying through her teeth, right before she unexpectedly broke down in sobs once more. She couldn't help it: her emotions where just all over the place and the harder she attempted to keep them in, the quicker they seemed to show.

" Aw Fe, it's alright," the object of her affection cooed into her ear compassionately, as she hurriedly moved her arm around the other girl's waist and held her a little closer, hereby unintentionally causing Fiona's heartrate to reach new undiscovered heights.

" N, No it's not," she then stammered truthfully, though, unbeknownst to her best friend: it not being alright had nothing to do with Bobby whatsoever, even if that too, still bothered her once in a while.

" Sure it is. Hey, whatever he did in your dream: he's not going to hurt you in real life ever again. I'm sure that douchebag learned his lesson, after you made him pay-literally," Holly J smirked, still doing her utmost to make Fiona feel better.

" Yeah…" said girl pondered in response, a slight smile currently forming on her lips. It was funny how Holly J seemed to possess a special talent for comforting people. Then again, she did possess many talents.

" And if not, you'll just have to say the word to Declan and he'll be on his ass faster than you can say Vanderbilt."

" Ooh, please just… stop talking about that place, it gives me the shivers," Fiona countered, translating her words into deeds, as an involuntary shudder ran through her body.

Holly J chuckled richly.

" Yeah, now that you mention it: you do feel pretty cold actually. Was I hogging the blankets again… here," she then went on, while covering her former enemy, with the larger portion of the comforter.

" Or maybe we should just snuggle for a little bit, get nice and cozy," she then semi-jokingly came up with a different solution, as she proceeded to hug Fiona closer for a minute, a minute the latter wished had gone on forever. It was strange really: how part of her longed to permanently stay this close together, while another equally large part wished to avoid as much contact as possible.

" But really: there's no need for you to worry about BB anymore. It was just a dream, okay… okay?" Holly J repeated, nudging the other girl in the side, when she took a little too long to answer.

" Yeah… okay… I guess, though I'm still scared the next guy my mom sets me up with, will treat me just as badly," Fiona brought out, truly meaning what she said. She hadn't found the courage to come out to anyone yet, let alone her mom and feared that in the meantime, she would have to resort to bearding, both to get her mind off of Holly J and to save her reputation. She already had enough people thinking that she was a freak, hopelessly in love with her own brother. Even if a year had passed, since the day she'd drunkenly smooched Declan, she knew for a fact that a lot of her peers were still gossiping about said event.

" Oh don't worry, cause if that's the case, I will personally come over to kick the guy's ass," her best friend declared seriously.

" Oh, come on, Holly J," Fiona responded, with a hearty giggle.

" What? What's so funny?"

" You kicking someone's ass?"

" What? You don't think I could? I _am_ pretty badass, you know. I'm sure you remember me locking you up in that copy room, back in Manhattan?" her friend suddenly stated defiantly, raising a quirky eyebrow, after she'd pulled herself up to a sitting position.

" Ah, yes: the historical battle for Declan," the girl beside her smirked, though she didn't exactly like to be reminiscent of that part of her past.

" Uhu, can you believe we actually used to sort of hate each other, at one point?"

" Yup, those were the days," Fiona joked, doing a little fist pump, hereby causing a cute smile to grace her love interest's lips.

" Yeah… who would've thought constant death glares and evil plotting could lead to the best friendship I've had in years?" Holly J commented honestly, as she turned to really look at the brunette.

" You really think I'm the best friend you had in years?" Fiona repeated in an almost awed whisper, definitely not suitable for use in a talk between friends.

" Sure you are: I don't know what I would do without you. You made me into a better person, well- you along with that brother of yours, of course," her love interest muttered, while firmly grabbing hold of the other girl's hand, hereby nearly causing her to start swooning.

" Wow, I can't believe you would say that…" Fiona began, before whatever she was going to say next got drowned out by a new series of sobs.

" Fiona?" the youngest of the Sinclair sisters then inquired hesitantly, not sure what to make of her best friend's sudden state.

" I… I'm so-sorry, it's just that-that-that…" the brunette hiccupped, as she bowed down her head.

" That-that-that?" Holly J urged kindly, before affectionately pushing the hair out of Fiona's face.

" Fe, you know you can tell me anything, right?" she subsequently continued, when she still hadn't received a reply from the other girl.

" I, I just feel so awful. I've treated you horrible, Holly J. And when I wasn't treating you like crap, I was being an incredible pain in the neck, what with the drinking and constantly getting you into trouble. I'm basically the most pathetic excuse for a human being alive, yet here-here you are saying that_ I'm _the best friend you had in years?" Fiona finally sobbed, getting the sentence out as more of a question than anything else.

Holly J sighed, then slowly grasped onto her chin and lifted it, hereby forcing the brunette to look into her eyes.

" You listen to me, Fiona Coyne and you listen to me good: you are and never were "the most pathetic excuse for a human being alive", alright? You are a great person. You've had problems, but you dealt with those just fine. You have some flaws, but who hasn't? God knows I'm nowhere near perfect either, but enough about me. Just remember: you are awesome and I don't ever want to hear you talking yourself down like that again, understand?" she then gave a hefty mini-speech, in order to really convince her best friend that she was worth much more, than she seemed to think.

" I, uh… I understand," Fiona finally admitted, somewhat against her will, though at the same time pretty impressed that someone she admired so much, appeared to regard her in such a high fashion.

" Good, I'm glad we settled that," the strawberry blonde muttered, as she reached out to gently wipe a lone tear from her previous nemesis' cheek.

" Thanks, Holly J: you always know just what to say to cheer me up."

" Hey, anytime," the girl in question spoke softly, while finding her friend's hand again and squeezing it lightly.

" I love you, Holly J," Fiona then brought out, shaking her head in disbelief, failing to contain herself any longer, as she slowly got lost in her love interest's mesmerizing, unique green-blue eyes.

Luckily for her, though, Holly J didn't catch the hidden meaning behind that little phrase, as she simply retorted: " I love you too, silly," and then proceeded to envelop her in a friendly hug.

" Uhm, not to be a deal breaker or anything, but I think maybe we ought to get back to sleep. I mean: you've got dialysis in the morning and I'm just keeping you up again, with boring old Fiona-drama."

" Yeah, I probably _should_ get some rest, but don't you ever feel like you're bothering me. You know, Fiona-drama is pretty much the highlight of my day," Holly J admitted jokingly into Fiona's ear, before slowly pulling back and crawling back under the covers.

" Well, goodnight."

" Goodnight," Fiona sighed, while gradually retreating to her own side of the bed, knowing that, despite her best friend's best attempts at advice and caregiving, she'd be back to feeling miserable, as soon as said friend was asleep.

**A/N:**** So, I know I'm way behind with shipping Folly J, yet lately my fingers just ached to write something about these two. But anyway, if you'd like me to continue, leave me a little something in the review-box.**


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